What Psychological defects keep the Love away?

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Answers from the books of Samael Aun Weor

Many times in daily life men and women argue, many times through insignificant questions they argue. The man says one thing, the woman another, and at times it follows that a word is sufficient for one of the couple to react. They do not want to control themselves. They do not want to understand that home is the best psychological gymnasium. In the home life is precisely where we can discover ourselves, it is in the home where we can discover ourselves, it is in the home where we can come to discover our defects of psychological type.

Who hurt us? Why did they hurt us? Could it be possible that we have jealousy? Could it be possible that our own self-esteem has been hurt? Could it be that our pride has been hurt?

When one discovers that one has got a psychological defect, then one has the opportunity to disintegrate it, to reduce it to cosmic dust. By eliminating our errors, our defects, one of these days we will obtain the awakening of consciousness.

Unfortunately the people do not want to eliminate their defects, the say: "I am wrathful, this is my way of being." Others say: "Well I am jealous, this is how I am..."

Others exclaim: "I am lustful, I take pleasure in women, this is how I am. So what?" With this way of thinking, with this way of feeling, a true transformation is not possible. When someone notices thathe has a psychological defect he has to eliminate it. One happens to discover that he has this or that psychological error precisely in the house, at home. That's why the house serves as a psychological gymnasium to us.

Many complain that their wives are wrathful, and that they are jealous. They desire to have another woman who would be a paradise, who would be a humble angel of the heavens, etc. They do not want to understand that home is an extraordinary gymnasium and that it is here where we are able to discover our errors and if we do so, we will obtain the awakening of consciousness.

I say that there is to know how to love, comprehension between man and woman should always
reign in the home. The man should not expect the woman to be perfect, also the woman should not expect the man to be a "prince charming." We have to accept things as they are and to take home as a school where we can self discover ourselves. In accordance with the elimination of those so many psychological defect that we have, the happiness will come forth gradually, and if one day we had to suffer a lot, the home is later converted into paradise.

Jealousy is something which damages the home. The jealousy makes a mountain out of a molehill. If the wife just looks at someone, he suffers, it appears as if she is having a relationship with the other man, etc. It is an error of the mind, but he takes it as reality. The jealous wife is the same, she makes her husband suffer. He cannot look at any other woman because she is already suffering and creating a terrible scandal within the home. For this path of jealousy one suffers a lot.

If one truly investigates carefully the origin of jealousy one discovers the trouble precisely in the fear, fear of losing that which is most loved. The woman fears losing the man, the man fears losing the woman, the woman believes that the man is leaving her for another woman, the man fears she is leaving for another man and it is clear that then the suffering and pain comes. Most importantly, if we eliminate fear, the jealousy disappears.

How can we eliminate the fear of losing our loved one? Only through reflection, through meditation.

Samael Aun Weor. Excerpt from the lecture: Love and Marriage