The Great Rebellion
Chapter 10. The Psychological "I"
This question of the myself, of what I am, that which thinks, feels and acts, is something we must auto-explore in order to know it profoundly. Everywhere there are very nice theories which attract and fascinate. Nevertheless, all that would be of no use if we did not know ourselves.
It is fascinating to study astronomy or to enjoy some serious reading matter. However, it is ironic to become erudite and not to know anything about oneself, about the I am, about the human personality we have.
Everyone is very free to think whatever he pleases and the subjective reason of the intellectual animal mistakenly called man is enough for everything, it can make a mountain out of a molehill as well as a molehill out of a mountain; many are the intellectuals who live playing with rationalism. And after all what?
To be erudite does not mean to be wise. Learned ignoramuses abound like weeds and not only do they not know, but they even do not know that they do not know.
By learned ignoramuses it should be understood the know-alls who believe that they know and they do not even know themselves.
We could theorize beautifully on the “I” of Psychology, but that is not precisely what interests us in this chapter.
We need to know ourselves directly without the depressing process of option.
In no way would this be possible, if we did not auto-observe ourselves in action from instant to instant, from moment to moment.
It is not a matter of seeing ourselves through some theory or through simple intellective speculation.
What is interesting is to see ourselves directly; only thus will we be able to reach true knowledge of ourselves.
Although it might seem incredible, we are mistaken about ourselves.
Many things we believe we have, we do not have, and many things we believe we do not have, we have.
We have got false ideas about ourselves and we must make an inventory to know what is too much in ourselves and what we are lacking.
We suppose ourselves to have these or those qualities which in fact we do not have, and we certainly ignore many virtues which we have.
We are asleep people, unconscious people, and this is what is serious. Unfortunately, we think the best of ourselves and not even suspect that we are asleep.
The Holy Scriptures insist on the need to wake up, but do not explain the system to achieve such awaking.
The worst of it, is that many have read the Holy Scriptures and do not even understand that they are asleep.
Everybody believe that they know themselves and they do not even suspect the existence of the doctrine of the many. Really, the psycholgical “I” of everyone is multiple, it always occurs as many.
We mean by this that we have many “I”s and not a single one as learned ignoramuses always suppose.
To deny the doctrine of the many is to foolishly ignore oneself because, in fact it would be the height of absurdity to ignore the many contradictions each one of us has.
I am going to read a newspaper, says the “I” of the intellect; to hell with such reading, exclaims the “I” of movement, I prefer to go for a ride on my bike. Forget it, shouts a third one in there, I'd rather eat, I'm hungry. If we could see ourselves completely in a mirror, the way we really are, we would discover for ourselves directly the doctrine of the many.
Human personality is only a puppet controlled by invisible strings.
The “I” which today makes a vow of eternal love for gnosis, is later on displaced by another “I” which has nothing to do with the pledge; then the fellow withdraws.
The “I” which today swears eternal love to a woman, is later on displaced by another one which has nothing to do with that oath, then the fellow falls in love with another woman and the house of cards collapses. The intellectual animal mistakenly called man is like a house full of many people.
Amongst the many “I”s there is no order or any concordance at all, they all quarrel with each other and dispute for supremacy. When any of them gains control of the capital centres of the organic machine, feels itself the only one, the master, but it is finally overthrown.
Considering things from this point of view, we come to the logical conclusion that the rational mammal does not have true sense of moral responsibility.
Unquestionably, what the human machine may say or do in any given moment, depends exclusively on the kind of “I” which is controlling him in those instants. It is said that Jesus of Nazareth drove seven demons out of the body of Mary Magdalene, seven “I”s, living personifications of the seven deadly sins.
Obviously, each of these seven demons is head of legion, therefore we can establish as corollary that the intimate Christ was able to expel from the body of Mary Magdalene thousands of “I”s.
Reflecting upon all this, we can clearly infer that the ESSENCE is the only worthy thing we have interiorly, unfortunately it is trapped among all those multiple “I”s of the revolutionary Psychology. It is lamentable that the essence always processes itself by virtue of its own bottling.
Unquestionably, the essence or consciousness which is the same, sleeps deeply.
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